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Perhaps I would fill it with urine and shit. And make the pinata really thin and week, so when they slightly hit it – the shitty bomb explodes right on them, haha. Store the slurry in a bag, then line the sides of the pinata with pins to pop it. The bloody remains of his parents/friends/pets so he’ll think he killed them. My mom didn’t like this one family’s kids because they were greedy with the candy so one birthday party she filled the Awesome Hurt My Daughter Or My Son Not Even God Can Save Shirt. She did give us all candy at the end, but apparently the looks on all the kid’s faces, when they realized it was noodles, was priceless.

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Reading all these suggestions as an adult, makes one realize that I’d much rather get a piñata of noodles than candy. Covered in raining peanuts, that’ll be a birthday he remembers or y’ know, his last birthday. Confetti, there’s still nothing the Awesome Hurt My Daughter Or My Son Not Even God Can Save Shirt. Candy. I would never ruin someone’s day just because I hate them. Hot dogs! It’s happened before…it’s not pretty! Long story short at a family gathering my mom was drunk the night before and filled the piñata with raw hotdogs then the next day the kids broke it open and got traumatized! I won’t let her live it down! Potatoes. Children are rarely evil and it would be so funny. Good, normal candy. Not my place to ruin a kid’s birthday even if they are a little shit.

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It’s all y’all putting lethal shit in the piñata, it’s not my fault you’re evil. We all have that one little cunt that deserves a few stings. Nothing at all. Make ’em think they’re going to get something and nothing comes out. Semen good old fashioned semen. I’d fill it with pure steel, and the Awesome Hurt My Daughter Or My Son Not Even God Can Save Shirt! If they can manage to lift it up, no one will have any fun hitting it because it’ll be completely unyielding. No candy, and no satisfaction. The ultimate fuck you. Maybe snakes could be fun too, or maggot-infested candy. I’m not too picky when it comes to destroying birthday parties.

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