Lest we forget the dude who got stoned and shot himself in the head on security. Camera right in front of another person who we get to see react in real-time to watching a Florida Gators Girl I Am Who I Am Your Approval Isn’t Needed Shirt. Oh, and a person paid in expired Walmart meat gets there goddamn arm ripped off by a tiger. Tiger King was Netflix getting its taste of that dirty reality TV money (documentary my ass) and I’m just hoping its success doesn’t turn the whole platform into reality TV bullshit. Someone is going to dress as a cop for Halloween and kneel on someone’s neck, recreating the George Floyd moment. A picture will end up online, and they will get fired from work/kicked out of school. Might as well just be a sexy COVID victim and order your respirator in advance.
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More likely it will be an edgy kid who has no strong political leanings, wanting to have crude fun. Then cancel culture comes after him, radicalizes him to the alt-right. And he begins to Florida Gators Girl I Am Who I Am Your Approval Isn’t Needed Shirt. I guarantee that the last two weeks of September and all of October will be the Media talking about. If Halloween will happen. November 1st will be filled with posts on Reddit of Karen’s taking their kids Trick or Treating without permission. Or “breaking news” that a giant Halloween party happened and a bazillion people got infected. People used to joke with kids saying “oh looks like Christmas is canceled” or “the Easter bunny is sick so no Easter” but “Halloween is canceled” might be a reality. And it sucks because it’s on a Saturday AND has a full moon.
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