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The journalist Johan Hari first said this about addiction. He has a TED talk about addiction that helps me deal with the shame of alcoholism. Dr. Gabor Maté also Freddy Krueger Into The Dream I Go To Lose My Mind And Find My Soul Shirt. I recommend This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. It’s referenced here often. It has given me a new perspective on alcohol. I also like her podcasts, especially the reader’s questions. They’re short and sweet and you can listen to the ones you think resonate with you the most. I do know is I don’t want my kids (hitting teen years now). Remembering how much their mom loved beer. I want them to be proud and see that I made a choice to better myself and stuck with it. So good. So happy.

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As a mom, I think part of the reason I would drink was to just take the edge off for all the dinner making, homework, PARENTING. And the binge days…well those are the days I just didn’t want to care about everything. Wanted to just do Freddy Krueger Into The Dream I Go To Lose My Mind And Find My Soul Shirts. I’m even doing this whole parenting thing right half the time. Just release that pressure button. Boy did I pay way more dearly for that then just hunkering down and finding other ways to relax. But I am grateful to have had this time (COVID restrictions actually helped me get sober) to step back, be home, and re-assess my life and my issues around drinking. Sub wine for beer and you wrote my story as well. I’m only 7 weeks in but I’m already feeling more connected to my kids and present. That is easing the anxiety.

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