This, but turn their heads into candy-like shapes and textures and wrap the severed head candy for a nasty surprise. I thought you made chili out of their parents and made them eat it, the Funny I Love My Size – I Love Myself Motivational Shirt. All the shit candy I can think of. Fake chocolates like sixlets, those big orange peanuts, any candy cane that isn’t mint. I’ll throw in a warhead or a Jollyrancher to give them hope, only for them to find out it’s melted beyond edibility. Candy corn. Just a shit candy, with no wrapper, laying on the dirty ground.
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Empty candy wrappers. That way they get super excited when it breaks open and then all their dreams will be crushed. Penis hard candies. Put them in the microwave for 5-10 seconds – SO good! I never did it but is the thought of making a Funny I Love My Size – I Love Myself Motivational Shirt… Adults love payday, not the candy though. My first thought was roaches, but everyone else has better answers. Old Ketchup and wine mixture. Old Ketchup because I fucking hate the smell of it, and wine because it’ll stain the little shits clothes. Green shield bug (species name). Those little motherfuckers stink as f when you splat them. Brown recluse spiders and before the kid hits the piñata I’ll cover them in the spider’s prey. The inside of a goat or another medium-size animal.
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It will be pretty horrifying when that kid beats the. Eggs that had been aged to perfection in the trunk of a car for a year. It depends on the level of “I hate that little bastard”, really. If I don’t like the kid, anything. I’d like to see the little bastard miserable, eggs. If I strongly suspect the Funny I Love My Size – I Love Myself Motivational Shirt…Dogs? Or bees? Or dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at you? And make the pinata really thin and week, so when they slightly hit it – the shitty bomb explodes right on them. It would just be hilarious. That horrible paper money shit that everyone hates the taste of. As a child, those were my favorite.
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