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I was a videographer for my best friends’ father when I was in middle-high school. He once had me film his passion project about Jesus. He had a huge, heavy wooden cross commissioned and in one scene. I wanted to film the cross being lowered forward with Jesus on it. He wanted the camera locked down, parallel with the Funny You’re Next Pallbearers Dance Shirt. He had 20 people, 10 to lower the cross (with a teenager playing Jesus on it) on a rope. And 10 to hoist the green screen up to maintain the background as it fell. Then like a year later while we’re cutting it and I am having issues with that shot, he says.

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I pleaded with him that, since the angle of the cross wouldn’t change the entire scene, the only thing tipping the cross did was change the lighting on it–that it’d just be easier to move the lights instead of the green screen cross and camera in this dangerous pully rigging system. I was the one who would be making the effect later! He argued with me and then pulled rank and still made us do this convoluted, dangerous thing. It happens, mostly in very subtle ways or quietly, but the most blatant recent one was Show Dogs with Will Arnett and Ludacris. Once I heard it was being recalled I rushed out to see it. And the scene they pulled from it was almost unbelievable.

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It was also the best scene in the movie so take from that what you will. The film was criticized for normalizing child grooming based on a plot point. This depicts the canine main character being forced to have his genitals fondled by a Funny You’re Next Pallbearers Dance Shirt. In the film, other characters “teach” him not to think about it and to go to his “zen place” when that happens. You know, I don’t think any studio wants a section on their films Wikipedia page to be titled “Child grooming controversy”.

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