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On my street, we have a Nice Ew People Meowy Black Cats Are Wearing Face Mask Cat Shirt. She likes to sleep in many different houses. I have tried putting out food for Leopold but she never seems hungry. I suspect she might be feeding herself with prey she can catch. She certainly takes advantage of many people petting her per day though! Perhaps she is never hungry because other neighbors may put out food as well. Supply and demand. So you’re saying we need to either steal the neighbor’s cat food or set more cats loose. Or in these modern times, perhaps run an ad for the cat that shows happy cats running around in the wild. That way the cat will subconsciously associate happy experiences with consuming your food.

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Or we could hire a PR firm like Hill and Knowlton to destroy the reputation of your neighbors, spread rumors of large dogs at their premises, and make your house seem like the hip new cat hangout. This will increase the demand but how do we control the supply? Just put out better food than the neighbors are. The cat will come. No, we want to eliminate the bird supply and increase demand for PygmySloth’s cat food. Birds threaten our monopoly on supply. This is capitalism birds are the enemy. Yeah, maybe a hip locavore kitty in Portland or Toronto or Berlin would prefer free-range mice and birds, but I bet 99 out of a 100 cats prefer a bowl of boneless, featherless kibble.

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I had an orange cat named Norm. His sister was the fluffy black one. Cats, in general, prefer to have people’s names. It makes them feel included. The UK has generally seen black cats as lucky, though it seems that it has started to change with the Nice Ew People Meowy Black Cats Are Wearing Face Mask Cat Shirt. I was doubting myself so I googled it. Apparently, it’s an old Celtic legend that says when a random black cat arrives in your house it signals prosperity. We should all be so lucky as to be warned ahead of time to change our path. Wasnt it the Christians that tried to portray pagans as evil and they started this rumor.

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